Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Just be still

My surgery date is February 21 and I feel a bit panicked.

See, I had another Herceptin injection yesterday and while I was waiting for the nurse to arrive, I was being tended to by one of the volunteers, who happened to be a monk. He was marvelling over my iPhone and said he had never felt the need for a handheld device of any sort. That even though he writes two blogs about being zen, he doesn't feel the need to check comments or email his monk friends or do anything he can't wait to do until he gets home.

"It's great for situations like this," I said. "When you're waiting around."

"When I'm waiting around, I take the opportunity to just be still," he said.

So there's me, pushing, pushing, pushing for an early surgery date. I don't want these tumours growing while I wait for a date! I want to get this shit out of me! Gimme a date, damn it!! And now I have one, less than four weeks after the end of radiation, which is a bit unheard of. So be careful what you wish for and all that stuff, because now I'm stressed.

So one week after Pete and I return from the gloriousness of the desert, mid-century stars still in our eyes, I'll be having a final tea party with my boobies to say goodbye to stretched out shirts and gaping buttons forever.

Can't we just go back to talking about juicing again? I'm comfortable with that. My Crazy Sexy Diet book just arrived and I'm super-excited to dig in, but all I want to do is play Angry Birds on my iPhone and try like stink to be still. Don't think that's what the monk had in mind.

3 comments:

  1. Don't be stressed.........that isn't good for you. Actually, let's say this--you can feel stressed for one day, and then forget about it. Nothing is going to be growing in you anymore...........the bad C is afraid of the good C. The bad C has met its challenge.

    So continue to look forward to PS and your juicing and your Angry Birds (whatever the hell that is!!) and your Crazy Sexy Diet book.

    Remember PINO (Positive In, Negative Out) and have a good day. Stress be gone!!! xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmm I take the opportunity to just be still!, your response I'm hoping went me too after I take the kids to school, my husbands juice drink to work, attend all my c crapola appointments and covert everyone I know to juicing, yes still is where I plan to be in PS. Yeah to be fucking still. Okay maybe not the f-word, he is a monk after all.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So ... they gave you the monk, did they? LOL Was it his trial by fire session when they put him with you? "just be still" seems like such an easy thing, doesn't it, but it is often seems an impossible task ... I think he wants you to turn inwards a little and do yourself good. Everyone is important in your life but taking care of self is first, right? So ... just be still ... so profound and yet so simple .... I love it!

    ReplyDelete