Sunday, February 20, 2011

Bye bye boobies, I'm gonna miss you so

Tomorrow's T-day but I haven't scheduled the rollout of the long goodbye to my F-cups in quite the militaristic way I'm used to doing with a good comms plan. It's been a bumpy process, but I can't say I'm ultra-sad about leaving them behind in the OR tomorrow. As my chemo nurse joked with me on Friday about a pin she had given her survivor sister, "yes, they're fake, the real ones were trying to kill me!" Take my wife, please. I'll be here all week, folks.

I'm scheduled for an 8 am hack and will likely be in the joint for a couple of nights. Not ultra-stressed. I'll get through it. And with the lovely support net I have dangling under me from across this big ol' country, I feel extra-buoyed. But I miss my girls (the child-kind) already. It was stab in the heart hard to say goodbye tonight and hand them over to my ever-loving parents. These cancer separations always feel like extra-punishment, no matter how informal and breezy they seem.

I haven't burned my arsenal of bras or posed for any final nudie pics to commemorate the girls as they are. They were bloody late to arrive way back in my teens but they've fed two babies and delighted a certain sub-segment of men over the past 20 years, so go forth, dear boobies, and give yourself to science. The whole situation may be a bit of a bloody shame, but I wallow not and have never dwelled on the "why me?". Why the fuck not me?

I'll miss you, peeps, but I'll be back as soon as my hands can type!


  1. Boy I love your writing. This was magnificent. Now go forth, get this done and get back to us.

    Thinking of you, as always. xo

  2. My neurons are firing in your direction babe, and sending all sortsa awesomeness to add to your already overfilling cup (no pun intended). You're gonna rock this part too, rock the shizz out of it, like the rockstar you are...and then you're going to end up having the best tits out of all of us. :-)

    Love you girl. Will call you towards the end of the week?


    Love, Me xo

  3. I am thinking about you!! Your personality is what shines and it will continue to do so even after surgery. Just stay focused on getting better and living a full life!

  4. Been thinking about you all day. Everyone else here has too!...Lots of inquiries about how things are going today. There is no more "you can do it" is now "you done it!" Onward and upward!

  5. You are a marvel, my lovely. There you were sitting up in that hospital bed, looking like you had not just been through almost 4 hours of surgery, eating some hospital supper, even! If this is what happens to those who have all the support and prayers that you have received, I think we should bottle it and sell it to the masses. But, I think it is more you than us. You had the strength, the courage and the spunk to show who was boss, and those C cells (whatever was left) knew it! Gonzo for them! I am so proud to call you my daughter - even more so than ever! Love you, Babe.

  6. My prayers are with you Carissa. I'm so glad to read you're kickin' those C cells in the ass. You go girl!

  7. So amazeballz you are, my dearest. Always the person I have looked up to most and it's no different now.

    Continue your sweet-ass recovery like the cancer-slaying-ninja vixen you are.

    xoxo Love, Me

  8. You have the power to be. You are so amazing and you made me feel better when I saw you, you put me at ease, seeing all your strength. Thats just who you are and I love you for it. Heres to crappy hospital food, glad to hear you are going home today. The food is much better at home and so is the comfort and love. You rock it girl! Love S

  9. C,

    So wonderful to hear you are back at home and resting with your loved ones today. I hope you are not in much pain. We are all praying for a clear diagnosis for you my friend. Do you feel the "limitless undying love that shines around you like a million suns?" (Blatant Beatles lyric rip-off.)

    I remember a friend once saying that breasts are merely "glorified fat pockets"....another way of looking at it I guess! ;)

    Keep on keeping on with your fearless humour and impossible grace my friend.