The radiation techs had the same difficulty today getting excellent clearance of my lungs before zapping me, so they called in the big guns (the radiation oncologist), who barked out some numbers while the ladies shifted me this way and that on the table. But no dice. They decided that the original plan and tattoos were no longer as close to perfect as they liked and that we had to start from square one again.
So tomorrow I go in for my second planning CT. I missed today's zap and will skip tomorrow's and Thursday's, so will make those up with some double or triple zaps sometime between now and the end of January. Rama lama ding dong.
All this pokes at my brain with a resounding, "your boob has grown, therefore the cancer has grown!". I try to shove it aside and focus on my coconut tarts, but tonight it will poke a little longer inside of me before I put it in the "nothing I can do about that, so shut the fuck up, brain" pile, which grows daily.
I'd really just like to get on with things so I can get the stuff cut out of me already. All this waiting around feels like the wrong thing to do with an aggressive sort like my beloved c-ballz. Push it aside. Restart the planning. Get this thing fucking going.
Please don't jump to a worse scenario conclusion babe. It is good that they are being so careful not to zap anything else but the tumours! Most women who have had breast radiation treatments will tell you that their "zaps" didn't go like clockwork either. I'm glad that the radiation oncologist is saying let's do some replanning instead of saying something stupid like, "what the heck, we're close enough" !! Use the free time to enjoy the holiday more with P and the kids.
ReplyDeleteI'm with ur mom ...ditto! However, in the interest of trying to calm some of the paranoia, perhaps consider that the opposite is happening. With your new detox regimen, is it not possible that ur girls are shrinking? Remember the detox we did together a couple years ago ...you lost like 8 lbs. in the first week. As a fellow chesty besty, I can testify to the fact that mine constantly change as my weight fluctuates. Anyway ...just a thought. xxx
ReplyDeleteListen to JChubb - She is the voice of reason here - gotta love her! Speaking as a fellow chesty as well, I had forgotten how much our breasts are affected by any weight loss. That is probably why I got the same sorts of re adjustments as you! Your Dad mentioned that he remembers them calling in the "big guns" while waiting for me and having to go through another visit to the CT scan room ... with my hearing disability I was actually fortunate for once because I couldn't hear what the professionals were saying so I didn't jump to the wrong conclusions, I just played my 'dumb blond" card.
ReplyDeleteLove you babe, but you gotta stop being so intelligent all the time ... LOL
You're definitely both the voices of reason here. Thanks for helping me get over my craziness. I grilled the techs at my replanning session yesterday and they assured me that this is typical for side-lying treatments because it means the boobies are bigger and more unwieldy (my paraphrase there). So let's here it for tatas that can't be tamed. Woot!
ReplyDeleteYour welcome!
ReplyDeleteAre you talking about Asian Great Grandmothers or ?