Thursday, August 19, 2010

What not to say

Since being diagnosed, I've received some fucking amazing phonecalls, emails, visits and general lovely support from family and out-of-the-past friends, colleagues and casual acquaintances. Almost everyone says nice things, even when they don't really know what to say, but I've also had a few doozies over the past two months. My top three:

"Oh wow. I had an aunt/cousin/mother/wife who died from breast cancer..." Apparently, this one isn't an obvious no-go, cuz I've gotten it more than a few times.

"Really? Gosh, I hope I don't have it." A touching, vaguely viral-feeling variation on the "it's all about me" syndrome.

"Your mom looks weird." Okay, technically this was something I overheard from a five-year old kid in Stella's summer camp, but believe you me, this little punk was talking himself into a good pummeling on the top field at 3 o'clock. Instead, Stella just replied, "she's not weird, she just has cancer." S'my girl.

So, continue to ask questions about cancer, don't ask questions about cancer, talk about the weather, the latest shite-looking rom-com from Drew Barrymore, the breakthrough angiogenesis research you've been poring over, your blisters, my wigged out self, your wigged out self, but don't ask me how long I've been given or who I'm leaving my dog to when I kick off. Capiche?

2 comments:

  1. This pisses me off. How can people be so so #*$&#* ignorant!! #1 comment: utterly disrespectful, stupid, thoughtless, and I just can't believe someone would say this...do people even 'think' before they speak nowadays or does it just come out like diarhhea?? I would have said, "Excuse me.......did you hear what you just said???? You friggin' idiot, you!"
    #2 comment: okay, not quite as bad as #1, but still, "hello, were we talking about them"???
    #3 comment: Bless your sweet little gal. xo

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  2. You're adorable, Di - glad I have you in my corner.

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