Thursday, March 10, 2011

Survey says...!

I've been wondering about a lot of shit lately. Do positive vibes really travel? Can other people's prayers have an effect on an atheist like me? How in the hell do I dress these new tiny titties of mine without looking like a pre-teen?

I think I may have the answer to the first two questions in the form of my pathology report, delivered to me hot off the press this morning. I had a seemingly routine onc appt booked with Dr. B, my fave doc at the cancer clinic (who isn't my regular doc), and while he and I were blathering on about estrogen and surgery and cats with tiny hats, I saw a collection of papers in my file that said "final report". Gulp. No electronic record of my pathology yet, but Dr. B had just then received a hard copy and hadn't yet had time to read it.

While he perused and I sweated my ballz off, Pete nervously rubbed my shoulder. The dirt:
  • No cancer in right breast
  • 10 lymph nodes removed, no cancer in any of them
  • 1 or 2 "foci" (tumours) found in my left breast
  • 4 mm margin around the tumour(s)
So yay! about the first two points (and by yay! I mean jesus mother mary I'll become a Catholic again if it means anything to anyone in cancer land). A big solid huh? about the third point. One or two, motherfuckers? Make up your mind. We need clarification on that one, but it likely means the tumours weren't traditional lumps, but more dispersed and difficult to distinguish, which accounts for their surprise appearance last spring. And a hearty that'll do! on the fourth point. Technically, to get a negative margin, you need a 1 cm clearance of healthy flesh around the cancer. At 1 mm you need to go back in for surgery just to be sure. At 4 mm, I would be recommended for follow-up radiation therapy. But been there, got the gorge boob tan to prove it.

Dr. B. said he was very happy with these results, so I am, too. Deliriously happy, in fact. So fucking happy that I stopped by Vanilla bakery on the way home (after calling my parents, of course - relatives before baked goods... for the most part) and purchased a giant pumpkin muffin. Nice to see after these months of juicing and vegetarian/vegan conversion that I can still rock the simple buttery carbs.

So let me be clear about this. It was the love of such a delicious circle of friends and semi-anonymous supporters, from former and current co-workers, bosses, peers, teams of furious worker bees, to school moms, teen idols, old acquaintances and newfound friends, brothers and sisters-in-law, cousins, aunts, uncles, to one helluva husband and parents, children and scruffy ass dog that carved the path to this report. Over the moon grateful. Blissed out. Reveling in every second.

Give me the weekend and I'll be full of shit with plans. Hurrah!!!!!

16 comments:

  1. All I can, and want to say is

    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    Never underestimate the healing powers of human connection!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yessssssss! Holding my breath with you and now letting it aaaaaaall out. XO - S

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh BABE!!!!!!!!!! SO FUCKING HAPPY.

    SOOOOOOOOOOO Fucking happy.

    Results like these deserve 2 excited F-bombs in one comment!

    LOVE YOU!!

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is the BEST news ever. Dam this is great. I can't even think what to write, but it really was all you with a little help from family and friends (okay lots of help from Pete and mum and dad). Love

    ReplyDelete
  5. God Bless You! God Bless your doctor, your husband, your girls, your family, your friends, God Bless the whole fucking world!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I feel like screaming........in fact, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I FEEL LIKE SHOUTING IT FROM THE ROOF TOP........"YOU GO CARISSA". With everything you've been through this past year, geez, not even a year, this last 9 months......EVERYTHING you've been through, and you pull out ahead. Good for you!!!!!!!!!!

    You did your part--right from the start you weren't going to let this get you down.....and you didn't. It has paid off. You had the attitude, the change of diet, the research, the determination, the strength, and on and on and on. I'm SO proud of you right now.

    I know I'm babbling, I'm just so deliriously happy for you and your family!

    I'm sad in one area though............does this mean your posts will stop? You can't stop writing............ AND I guess a trip to Paris is in the future???

    ENJOY this huge sigh of relief and ride the coattails like you've never done before. Oh, how relieved you must feel!!!!!!!!! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am so incredibly happy with your news. I never had any doubt, but the confirmation is so very welcome. I can sort of imagine how amazing you must feel. Go with it and spoil yourself rotten!!!! Sending you piles of love, Maggi xxx

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm a sucker for a good cry...I cry for sad but even more so...I cry for happy.;...and I had one damn good cry about this. Can't say anymore those bloody tears and quivering lips are starting again.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Recently away...I was not here for the Healing Circle for you with my colleagues at work...but I would have sent telepathically healing vibes...so hearing the wonderful news today was so awesome; it sure made for a better day for your aunt who loves you dearly. Have a glass of wine; here is a toast to Carissa!!!!! I always knew that the De Luca/McCart combination could put up a good fight!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Omg Carissa. That news made me cry. So happy. So very happy.

    J-Bird

    ReplyDelete
  10. What great news Carissa, with so many people on your side and your great attitude you were not going to let this C thing get you. You are an inspiration to us all. Love Barb P.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I can't begin to tell you how over the moon happy I am for you. You are one of T-H-E best people I know and you deserve only the most postivite of news. Yes, this hard-ass bitch's eyes were welling up too. So happy for you and your family. Congrats Carissa.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Michelle NicholsonMarch 10, 2011 at 11:11 PM

    Oh, Carissa, that is the best news ever!! I, too, cried with relief when I read your posting tonight. My sister has been battling a very aggressive form of uterine cancer over the past four months and has also received similarly positive news. The relief is overwhelming, for the survivor, for family and friends!

    So, go forward and get on with this amazing life of yours (and consider submitting your blog to a publisher....)!
    Warm hugs,
    Michelle

    ReplyDelete
  13. Jo and Barb are RIDING HIGH on your TREMENDOUS NEWS!!! We are absolutely and utterly THRILLED for you Carissa!! And we're thrilled for all your clan and collective. Thank You for showing us how to kick that fucking c's ass!!! We continue to send you the ethereal good vibes from your outer circle! All the very best to you, from us on the outer edge. YOU ROCK!!! xoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hey there Carissa,

    Joy, joy, pure joy!!!

    Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.

    -Emily Dickinson

    You go girl!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm so happy for you, Carissa! Onwards and upwards!

    Glad all the good vibes worked out! I'll keep sending them along!

    Couldn't be happier for you!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Well I have read this and re-read it over and over again and just can't put into words how happy I am about this. You have all the support because you are an amazing person. I am over the moon with joy! Love you.

    ReplyDelete