I've learned a crapload of stuff about nutrition and disease over the past year, but today I walked around a newish (to me) health food store like an idiot.
I'm going through another wave of determination to get my veg-head on and wanted to check out the nama shoyu and such at the alterna market. I spent my Hawaii budget on ridiculous items, but compared to what lay before me on the ethically-sourced shelves, I could have become someone I would like to slap. I mean "heritage chilean cocoa nibs"? "gently rubbed goji seed pods with extract of unicorn tears"? I loves me some hippie as much as the next person, but I just wanted to see how much closer I could get to eating healthily rather than dining on powdered elephant ears and hot dog water.
It's a lot of fucking work to eat ethically and consciously. I could spend my days sourcing food and recipes and I'm lamenting the fact that I'll have much less of this precious time when I dive back into work next week. So I'm trying to be strategic about it all, not sweat the details too much and remember my mantra: progress not perfection.
Eating a basic non-ovo/lacto vegetarian diet is pretty cheap, even with the juicing component. But factor in my still being at the youthful rebellious stage, my need to try this and that before I land on my own solution, my two girls who have just (rather uncomplainingly so far) cleansed their lives completely of refined sugar and my extra kick in the ass of not only eating well but eating to kick cancer in the nards day after day so I can live to see said girls grow up... well, it's a bloody full-time job.
But the big stuff is figured out. I know I have to stay alkaline and I know how to do that. I know I have to schedule in my meditation, exercise and family togetherness. I know there are things like Mad Men, Chaka Khan, watching my six-year old discover kick-ass female singers like she's the first person to hear them on youtube, hearing my three-year old call out "sorry, Mommy!" from another room, 90% chocolate, the bright green stains on my dad's stubble after he drinks his green juice, the backyard garden, the trip to Hawaii with my entire family... so much fucking stuff that gives me that rush of connection, of knowing that it's all the small stuff that makes up the big feelings. I mean, hit me with a bus tomorrow. That's the jazz hands, man.