My dad's mom died of breast cancer after barely finishing raising a huge brood of kids. My mom had breast cancer less than five years ago and it was discovered only because of other medical issues hitting her over the head that would no longer be ignored. It was whipped out of her quickly with a lumpectomy and radiation but she continues to deal, first with a bout further south and now with ongoing hormone therapy. There's my dad and his incorrigible Irish skin and various touch-ups from the dermatologist. There's my brother and his wily digestive tract with pre-cancerous hoo-ha. I had a very minor tussle myself with some pre-cancerous partygoers before Stella came along, but I had those babies smoked out.
Then there's my mom's mom. She died of brain cancer when I was eight. It's not something I like to think or talk about much, lo 30 years after the fact. She died in the room next to mine while I was at school with my cousins. I have memories of headscarves, a weakening bladder, her fear of a car wash once, increasing episodes of tears and frustration from a woman I otherwise never saw cry.In the middle of one night, closer to the end, she was calling my mom's name over and over again until I finally roused myself to plod down the hall to see what she needed.
"Irene, I have to use the bathroom," she said when she saw me. I was more than a little freaked out that she didn't recognize me, but marched over to my parents bedroom to get the right relative.
I'm glad I was at school when she died, but for several nights I had visions of her at the end of my bed, in her headscarf, coughing her cancer cough.
It's the thing that terrifies me now in my quiet moments when I really get a look at my bald head or think of what the end looks like. She was in her 60s, also far too young to get the hell out of here.
So yes, cancer does pop up in a few other places in my family, thank you very much.
Thanks for sharing this Carissa. It's very very sad, but interesting too. How all that can happen to one family........just not right. I love your writing, your humour and your candidness; I find myself checking every night now to see if you've written anything. I hope you have a good day tomorrow.
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